I have returned.

Words hurt.

There’s this boy in my class named Adrien

The other day in class, he was says 

"nobody likes you Hannah. Seriously, like NOBODY L I K E S Y O U ! hahaahahh forreal !" 

Then, the class full of followers all laugh as he continues to degrade me.

Then he says ” Do you like her, Yulisa?” 

"No I don’t she’s weird !!xD " The followers contribute again by laughing.

I just want to say to you, Adrien, I really do hope that kind of attention is worth it.

Don’t you know when you said that it hurt? 

Those words pierced my heart. 

Those words are the words that swim around in my eyes before rolling down my cheek.

"nobody like you Hannah". Those are the kind of things that make me consider the mirror my worst enemy. 

"No I don’t she’s weeeird " Those are the kind of words that make me loathe myself.

The kind of words that dry my soul and tear my spirit.

The kind of words that keep me from accepting complements.

I hope you’re satisfied, because if you’re not, God knows what it takes to fulfill your tiny selfish heart.

Confusion.

I feel like giving up is the only thing to do.. But I really just don’t want to give up. Life is so miserable. 

Superhero. .

Superhero, save my life tonight … </3

Dear God, 

Where are you? I try my very hardest to stay in touch with you. I call on you nightly. You’ve been forwarding my calls lately. I’ve been craving Your spirit for weeks. I thought you were for me? I thought you would never forsake me. Now the only things that make me happy are earthly things. None of them satisfy me. My boyfriend makes feel loved. Until I go home. My friends make me happy. Until I go home. Face book occupies me. Until I go to bed. I just feel so heartbroken. If this is a test, please stop. I failed. Please just show me you haven’t left. You were my superhero…

It’s my own damn fault.

I miss the way things were , before i became of the world . Nothing satisfies me now, all my happiness is temporary. The things that make me happy make me cry at night because of my guilt.
Every night I get on my knees and pray. For the freedom and wholeness and love that i once walked around with.
Nothing.
So here i am.
Crying, because of my guilt. I really feel like things will never change.
To all you Christians that are on fire 4 God now, : don’t fall off track.. because it breaks your heart more than any person ever could.